We’ve all been there:
You’re excited about something, but then it doesn’t happen the way you hoped. Or maybe you thought things would go one way, but they went another. Or maybe you just expected something to happen, and when it didn’t…well, let’s just say disappointment can be tough.
We all know that disappointment or being let down is part of life, but that does not always make it easy to go through these emotions. Sometimes being let down can make you feel like failure or perhaps that you will never get over it.
But don’t worry! I promise you will and we are here to help.
There are ways to feel better.
There are ways to overcome your disappointment and move on from this experience with a healthier attitude than before. So read on for some tips that will help you feel better after experiencing disappointment—and better yet: prevent future disappointments from happening in the first place!
Also, since know that sometimes disappointment and leet down can be so big that they change your life and this blog might not be enough to help you heal, so we made the course “Empowerment Through Disappointment” for those big life-altering disappointments and letdowns that really sting. All courses are on-line and self paced.
So let’s start first with this hand-dandy blog to give you some pointers and if you feel the course might be a good addition, we will see you there. Here we go…
1. Acknowledge your disappointment
The first step to overcoming disappointment is to acknowledge your feelings. Don’t ignore them, don’t pretend they aren’t there, and don’t try to cover them up with other emotions.
Acknowledging disappointment doesn’t mean wallowing in self-pity or constantly focusing on how things could have been different—it simply means becoming aware of what’s happening inside of yourself so that you can move forward with intentionality instead of getting stuck in negative thought patterns.
2. Allow yourself to feel the disappointment
Let yourself feel the disappointment. You’re not alone in your feelings of disappointment, and they will pass with time. Try not to distract yourself from your feelings by engaging in other activities, or trying to make yourself feel better by doing something that appears rewarding in the moment.
These things don’t work because they don’t address the underlying emotion: disappointment isn’t about what you did wrong; it’s about a missed opportunity for something positive that could have happened.
It can be helpful to remind yourself of some of those opportunities as well—was there any way you could have changed things so that this outcome wouldn’t have been disappointing?
Remembering these things will help you start feeling better about what happened sooner rather than later!
3. Challenge your thoughts about why you are disappointed
When you find yourself disappointed, challenge your thoughts about why you are disappointed.
- Are they really true?
- What evidence do you have to support these conclusions?
- Is it a big deal or just an inconvenience?
- What can you do about it?
- How can you change your situation or yourself?
4. Determine whether you truly have a legitimate reason to be disappointed
If you’re disappointed, it’s worth asking yourself:
Did I really expect that outcome?
Did I really do everything in my power to make sure this would work out well for me?
If so, then that’s fine. You are right to be disappointed because the person or thing did not turn out as planned and you had every reason to believe they would.
However! If there is no legitimate reason for being disappointed, then it’s time to look at what went wrong and how you could have changed it—or why things simply weren’t meant to be.
It may seem like a waste of time at first—you already know what happened! But taking this step will help you learn from your mistakes and prevent them from happening again in the future.
5. Be kind to yourself.
One of the best things that we can do for ourself when we are faced with a challenging moment in our life – is to be kind to yourself. Remember not all situations are a poor reflection on you as a person and if you did in some way you dod do something to actually create the misfortune based on a bad decision – give yourself a break. We are all human, everyone makes mistakes. Take it from me, a perfectionist that is working on this everyday. Give yourself some breathing room to be human and real. Be kind to yourself. The more kind we are to ourselves, the better we learn to treat others.
6. Limit the amount of time you dwell.
This sounds easier said that done, I know it. I am someone personally that is over analytical and I can think about something for way too long. Ruminating is not always healthy so it is something I always suggest is something to not do too long.
Give yourself some time to be upset. Write about it, do the course we shared or just call up a good friend and let it out. Next, let it go and try to limit how much time you dwell. Often you can’t change what happened, so acceptance is key.
7. Acceptance is key.
Acceptance of things we do not like is hard. It never feels good to just have to accept what is and deal with it , especially when it sucks.
Yet, there has been a lot of studies that acceptance is actually healthy and helps you move past thing a bit easier. You can’t actually move on completely without acceptance.
8. Don’t get stuck in the past.
If you’re going through a rough patch in your life, it’s important not to get stuck in the past. You can’t change what has happened or how people have treated you, but you can choose how much that experience affects your future.
When we feel like our lives are being controlled by someone else’s actions (or lack thereof), it’s natural for us to become overwhelmed by feelings of helplessness and despair as we try to figure out how best to move forward on our own terms without being dragged down by other peoples’ decisions.
But if we don’t let those feelings overwhelm us too much before we’ve had enough time away from those negative influences—and if we don’t use them as excuses when things aren’t going right later on down the road—then those negative experiences may very well help us become stronger people overall.
9. Learn from the experience and move on
The next time you experience disappointment, it may seem like your world has come crashing down. It’s okay—that’s just how disappointment is. But what you can do is learn from the experience and move forward from there. Here are some tips for doing just that:
Learn from the experience and move on:
Don’t dwell on the negativity of your situation; instead, focus on where you’d like to go next and how to get there. If something doesn’t work out in a certain way, try finding another way for it to work out (or stop trying altogether).
Don’t be afraid to ask for help:
Sometimes we feel embarrassed about asking others for help because we don’t want them seeing us as weak or incapable of doing things ourselves. However, asking for assistance when needed is actually a sign of strength because it means that you’re willing to trust other people while also working hard yourself! So don’t hesitate—ask away if someone asks how they can help!
Don’t be afraid to say no:
Sometimes our best intentions lead us astray when we choose not listen carefully enough before agreeing with another person’s request or suggestion.” Which can get us in trouble and leave us disappointed.
I hope these tips have helped you to better cope with disappointment. It’s not easy, but it is possible! I know for me personally, when I get stuck on one of these steps, I like to take a step back and remind myself what the goal is here: acceptance. Accepting that this thing wasn’t what we wanted doesn’t mean giving up on everything or giving in to despair–it means letting go so we can move forward into something new and better. So don’t let disappointment keep you from feeling good about yourself.